Emmanuel

Just this past weekend I went to a day-long Advent retreat led by the incredibly gifted counselor and author Jan Meyers-Pruett. She spoke of hope; in particular "The Allure of Hope." It was exactly what my soul needed.

Most people would describe me as a positive, optimistic person (at least I think so!). Yet, when I look into the depths of my soul, I find places where I've sort of let go of hope. I don't mean losing all sense of hope, just areas where my hope has become dull, disenchanted, or hidden. Hope brings life and future, yet at the same time can be very scary--think of the last time you hoped for something that didn't come around, or took a long time to occur. I found myself asking, "What happens to our tender, unashamed hope? Perhaps it's "maturity." I even think of a mean little girl in elementary school who began teaching me to be more guarded. Whether our deepest longings, or currently for me desiring a job for my husband in which he can truly use his talents, there is fear to fully embrace those hopes lest expectations not be met. Hope causes yearning. An ache. A pain that asks the question, "How will this [longing] happen?"

One of my favorite words around Christmas time is Emmanuel. God with us. God with us--that we may bring hope to the world. Befriend the hurting. Bring light that pierces the corruption and darkness we all know exists. We will always have yearning because our very beings long for something more whole than this. In the mean time, it is hope that brings God to this world. Gently looking at the hidden areas of my heart where my hope is disillusioned has led me to meditate on Emmanuel this Christmas. May we bring hope to the world--God with us.

Unemployment Manifesto: Part 1 - "Let Me In"

A major aspect of being unemployed is making up important business things to do. If you want to be an important businessman with important business decisions, you’ve got to keep playing the role. In Denver, important business decisions are made at the University Hills Starbucks. One important business decision I overheard was a middle-aged gentleman in a pink shirt asking a twenty-something girl if she would bring a bunch of her hot friends to his band’s show at some dive bar. Like I said, you’ve got to keep playing the part.

A few days ago I settled in to the only unoccupied table in the place, the one right next to the window. Between job postings and eavesdropping, a little bird settled in on the windowsill on the other side of the pane. She was looking part curious about what was going on inside and part confused about why she couldn’t get inside. She was doing what frustrated animals do with frequent tilts of her head from the left side, and then to the right, then back to the left. I’m pretty sure she was muttering swear words after her songbird chirps, but she was on the other side of the glass so I couldn’t tell. Now, normally I would just be content to watch a bird this close to me for a couple of seconds and move on but I tuned into the music that was playing at the coffee shop:

“Let me in...whee-ooh, whee-ooh, whee-ooh, hoop-whee-ooh...”

Yes, that is The Sensations 1961 smash hit “Let Me In”. It was one of those moments when nature and man are in perfect harmony and the rhythm of life falls into perfect time only for the keen observer. I’m not kidding...it was a distinct life highlight.

Here is a low-quality version of the song and a picture of a swallow. You'll probably have to stare for about two or three hours before you get the same effect.

BREAKING UPDATE: This all happened on a Monday. As I'm writing this on Friday there is a bird flying around the SAME STARBUCKS!!! The lesson of today's Unemployment Manifesto is persistence and perseverance pays off during unemployment. Just ask my feathered friend.

It's time to start blogging again. OH...and we're moving!

We are moving from here....

to here....

Now I realize 60 miles isn't a whole lot, but when you're talking cities, Colorado Springs and Denver are two very different places. This little move has been long awaited...

I'm definitely going to miss seeing our friends here on a regular basis (ESP. my Wednesday night SYTYCD/Glee ladies!), Pikes Peak, my workplace, the Blue Star....but excited for more people, live music, sporting events, quicker trips to all the ski resorts and downtown!

Come and visit!!

I start my new job on the 19th...and we'll keep you posted from there....

I want to go on vacation

Celine.

I saw her. In real life. And she is awesome.

I'm not kidding. I mean, the woman hits the notes impeccably. And what's even better, when she does it, she's so thrilled it's like the first time she's ever nailed the thing. Amazing!

I'd like to note a few important points:

1. She opened with "I Drove All Night" and closed with....you got it, "My Heart Will Go On." All of a sudden I was back in 8th grade again...

2. Went with mom and sis....Celine was made for a family fem event, am I right?

3. The woman strutted her stuff like hitting 40 ain't no thang. Love it.

4. It's possible that my favorite part were the three lovely men sitting in the front row, listed in order of colored t-shirt: dusty blue, neon pink, and bright green. Dusty blue loved to do an open handed palm pump towards Celine, all three enjoyed a frequent sway and bounce, and neon pink's mouth may have never closed when he touched her as she walked by. Bff's. Priceless.

That is all.
P.s. this blog is dedicated to Darja.

Meet my new bike.

Meet my new bike! Isn't she a vintage beauty?







She's a Royce Union cruiser, made in the 1950's. My sweet husband gave me this bike for my birthday after making a few upgrades (it was an early birthday gift, he couldn't wait :) ).

I can't wait to ride it to the farmer's market and fill my basket with fresh fruits, veggies, and flowers! :)

help in a snow drift

Whatever your reactions to or thoughts on Barack Obama and the change slogan, this little video makes a valid point.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough to care for the people around me, to go out of my way to make someone's day better, or to stop thinking about my own agenda long enough to see who might need encouragement. This weekend Eric and I drove about an hour into the mountains to do a little snowshoeing. But before we got our car parked and our snowshoes on, we got stuck in a little snow drift/ditch. For a few minutes Eric tried pushing while I gave it some gas. No luck. And although I am also very strong, we decided that it would be best for Eric to be the pusher and not me. A few minutes into our attempts a car with two couples inside stopped by. We tried a number of different things to get our car out and finally, an hour later, we succeeded! These four wonderful people stayed with us the entire time! A few other people stopped on their way passing by, but gave up quickly on what looked like a very stuck vehicle. These two couples I have no doubt, saved us from spending many hours in the mountains NOT snowshoeing. I share this story because our day was impacted quite greatly by a few people who forfeited their own plans to get us out of a ditch. Thank you to our kind mountain friends!

My job has been really hard lately. In summary, I work with children and families who are somewhere between an initial placement in foster care and adoption. My cases include newborns, children, and teenagers, and families with substance abuse and mental health issues, poverty, homelessness, and domestic violence. Sometimes I don't feel brave enough. Sometimes when I look into the eyes of a child who has been severely neglected, I can't see healing. And sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to just back out. So I guess what I want to pledge this year is to not give up hope. I won't back down, because this is my little corner of the world to make a difference. I believe that caring for and loving people is inevitably going to become hard; it's just the nature of relationship and this world we live in. But we can't give up hope. And I will cling to the Hope that I have so that I might be a part of change.

Hanson vs. Tim Tebow

College football's national championship is tonight and that got me thinking about all the poor homeschooled kids in America. I wondered if there were some sort of homeschool hall of fame (where might this hall be located?) who would be the crown jewel exhibit of such a place. I decided it would be one of the two: Hanson or Tim Tebow.

First let's explore the frightening similarities:

• Hanson is from Oklahoma; Tim Tebow will play Oklahoma tonight.
• Hanson was nominated for a Record of the Year Grammy in 1998 and lost; Tim Tebow was nominated for the 2008 Heisman and lost.
• Hanson is considered a dual threat because all three members tantalize listeners with their singing, but also are very adept at various instruments such as guitar, drums, piano, tambourine, and shakers; Tim Tebow is considered a dual threat as a quarterback (430/651 passing for 6,159 yards, 62/9 TD/INTs), but is also a very skilled runner (453 Attempts for 1,928 yards and 43 TDs).
• Both come from large families (Hanson, 9; Tebow, 7).
• Hanson left Island Def Jam Records to explore their musical creativity; Tim Tebow left Trinity Christian Academy for Nease High School to explore his quaterbacking creativity.

Now I understand that this is a bit apples and oranges, however, I am declaring Tim Tebow the crown jewel of the Homeschool Hall of Fame until further notice. He has been in the limelight much longer than Hanson. Even though Hanson got exponentially better after their years of fame were over, Tebow hasn't even been a professional in his career. As long as he doesn't have a Danny Weurffel-esque professional career to mar his college days, Tim Tebow is the superior homeschooler.

Merry Christmas

"I cannot help thinking that the best way of knowing God is to love many things. Love this friend, this person, this thing, whatever you like, and you will be on the right road to understanding Him better." ~Vincent Van Gogh, July 1880

May you find love and may you find God this holiday season....

Domestic Living

This could be the longest half-hour of my life. Yesterday, our Computer Services department took my laptop to fix the wireless adapter and every time I call to check on it they tell me just half an hour more. Why tell you this? Because this is the perfect work sanctioned time to publish the always difficult first blog posting. For weeks now Beth Ann has said things like, "we need to write on our blog," which I think means: "Eric, start the blog now." Even if it is time theft, our blog has now begun at the expense of Tuesday morning productivity. Tuesdays are my least favorite day of the week anyway.

Our dear friends Dan & Bree came down this weekend from Fort Collins to be our first guests in our new home on Franklin Street. I think they were our first guests in our old place so that's a nice bit of continuity. Anyway, in the hours preceding their arrival something unexpected happened. I suddenly became very excited about domestication. We needed a desk for our guest bedroom, so I put it together. A man's job right? (The term "man's job" came from The Cosby Show and if it comes from The Cosby Show it is carries unilateral validation so don't even dare accuse me of sexism.) The desk assembly was just the beginning. Soon I was getting all uppity about organizing the room, cleaning the room, making it smell nice, putting the new end table and lamp (both of which I picked out) in just the right spots, and arraigning the little fake plants in the glass vase. I don't know what happened. It reminded me of the time I watched "Notting Hill" and absolutely adored it. There is no logic behind these things, no rhyme or reason. Just me delighting in domestication.

Recently Beth Ann and I have been talking with others about what we have learned in the first year of marraige. Our answer tends to lean on the ability to change and grow together. I am sloppy. I don't like to organize and I can easily be as lazy bones as they come. If we had ESPN I would no longer communicate with my wife I would just let Stuart Scott and Scott Van Pelt do all the talking for us. To get giddy about making our guest room look nice for Dan and Bree is change. They aren't the last friends who we will host and I know how Beth Ann feels about hospitality. If you've met her mom you know why, too. This is part of the adventure, even if adventure looks like putting a room together. Part of the adventure is appreciating it for when it appears on the surface a bit to be a bit dull. I'd like to think that on our journey, change and growth are an ever present lifestyle that permiates our relationship for the benefit of ourselves and maybe even for others.